Friday, April 30, 2010

Visiting Target

I do not like Target, but I typically hit one or two on my toy runs. They never have anything good, but the day I skip Target will be the day they do have something good of course if I skip it I would never know about it, correct? The sheer weight of it is staggering. Just to illustrate my point on my last trip into a Target my sole purchase was a three dollar bag of Jack Links beef jerky, very meaty. My Uncle Rudy has more distaste for Target than I do, in his exact words and I quote it is a store for "hipster yuppie fagits". Yes, but of course my Uncle Rudy still laments the fall of Western Auto Stores, his de-facto retailer of choice. When I do go with Uncle Rudy (which is rare as I'm terrified he will steal something and get us both arrested) a game we enjoy is sitting in the car afterwards and creating fictional names and backstories for real customers we witness entering or exiting the store. It is rather enjoyable. When I visit with my friend, Jeffery we pretend we have grown large wings from our backs and are flying across the store over the customers heads. We spread our arms out as we run down the aisles and shout: "Falcons! We are falcons!" It is also rather enjoyable.

Na-noo, na-noo!