Have a scary holiday season thanks to Vern Fonk.

Crom! It's Escape From Terror Fortress

Make a Free Flash Game

You Two-Faced Bastard!

Introducing Mattel's DC Retro Action Two-Face figure. Sorry about the blurry photo he doesn't like his picture taken.

Ah, that's better. Very difficult to find at his usual haunt, Toys R Us, he escaped from a local TJ Maxx for the easy sum of $9.99.

The Penguin has arrived to welcome him to the toyshelf.

He fits in almost perfectly with vintage Megos. Don't turn your back on the Joker. Originally I didn't like how his suit differs from the Joker and Penguin's screen printed bodysuits but it is based on the secret identity Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne suit. Plus this kind of variety is exactly in par with vintage Megos (Penguin's molded on hat vs. Green Arrow's removable one and Tarzan and Wonder Woman's flesh body suits vs. Robin and Conan's bare limbs).

The Bat Villains assembled. Hopefully one day the Riddler will join them (along with the Joker's shoes and Catwoman's gloves.

The Marvel Megos don't seem very happy about another DC character moving in.

Introducing Blogspot Universe

Crom! More scariness...

CROM! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL.

Crom! I'm scared!

Don Floss to premire new work at Madison Art Expo

I was asked by my acquaintance, Don Floss (the self proclaimed World's Best Artist), to promote his showcase this coming weekend at the Madison Art Expo at the Radison Inn in beautiful downtown Madison, WI. He will be debuting his latest and greatest work, The Man Bath. I normaly don't endorse this sort of thing and find it very tacky but he asked nicely and promised to help me locate that elusive Marvel Universe Captain Britain action figure I have been searching for. Excelsior!

(The Man Bath, oil on canvas by Donald Floss)

Now I'm banned from my favorite Target store.

First, I was put on the "(Hot Wheels guys) Wall Of Shame" at my local Toys R Us for looking in the overhead bins for action figures and threatened with arrest if I ever set foot in the store again.
Then, Old Country Buffet threw me out and banned me for life from all of their locations for eating too much of their "all you an eat" buffet.
Now, while out looking for wave 2 of Hasbro's Star Wars Vintage Collection action figures my Uncle Rudy went apeshit and thought he was in a John Woo movie and proceeded to engage in a mock (and I must stress mock, in case you are aware of Uncle Rudy's previous antics) gun battle with assorted customers and associates and severely beat up the Target cop with a pair of NERF battle axes. The police were called but Uncle Rudy advoided them by hiding out in a storm drain. I was ordered to stay out of the store for 10 years. Crom!

Yo Joe!

Crom! That cat ate all the GI Joe Pursuit of Cobra figures!

Some new friends

While out shopping Saturday night with my Mom at the mall, I met some interesting new friends and snapped this photo of them. First is Donald Alexander Floss AKA Don Floss, he is the self proclaimed "World's Most Fantastic Artist" and his young companion/apprentice, Gabbo who due to an accident has a Pokemon mask permanently grafted to his head. Also with them was Don's ex-girlfriend/ Walmart employee-fanatic Terri Moren.
Don told me about his new blog he plans to start about commercials, teen television programs, erotic fan fiction with a weekly feature of girls in welding goggles and other assorted nonsense called, The Floss Life. He hopes his online friend Muppet Lad joins him. I'm looking forward to it.

False Advertising: all you can eat at the Old Country Buffet

The Old Country Buffet is one of a slew of restaurants owned by Buffet's Inc. You pay an entry fee, grab a plate and make your way up to the various buffet bars for all you can eat. Actually the phrase: "all you can eat" is predominately displayed on all their posters and brochures. For someone like myself who has a very large appetite this is a boon, I easily spent 20 dollars on myself at Wendy's, so The Old Country Buffet should be a bargain at 8 dollars. After 4 hours and 12 plates of food I was approached by the manager and two of his goons and ordered to leave. I said that I wasn't finished, he didn't care. I said what about all you can eat and he said I had had enough and he was calling the police because I was creating a disturbance. The police were waiting when I got outside an issued me a 78 dollar ticket for loitering. I am contacting the Better Business Bureau as well as the Wisconsin Attorney General's Office. If that does not work I guess I will just tell my Uncle Rudy that the manager called him a low life. At the very least it will get them a few broken windows.

Breaking news: interview with a Mattel Apologist

Last night while visiting Target looking for the ever elusive last Hasbro Secret Wars comic 2 pack that I need I meet a rather interesting individual. Let's call him "Hank", as his actual identity becoming known will cause him undue harm. I criticized Mattel's DC Comics product and Hank was quick to jump to their defense, in what may have become an action figure isle smackdown if not for the threating presence of my Uncle Rudy milling about keeping the odds of any violence breaking out in my favor.
(Uncle Rudy in Target)

Hank, informed me that Mattel was the greatest company in the world, that everyone (even if they have zero interest) should buy multiples of all of their products and no one should ever question them. Then he laughed and excused himself for he was an official and professional Mattel Apologist. Here is an excerpt of our conversation:

Travis Tredwell (TT): But I do not care for DC, why should I buy them?

Hank: Cuz you HAVE to. If Mattel ever gets the Marvel lincense you can then like Marvel again.

TT: Are you crazy?

Hank: No just well, paid. There's a reason DCUC retail for $15 when they're really only worth $10 to $12 at the most.

TT: You are on Mattel's payroll?

Hank: Not officially. And I'm not the only one who is not officially employed by that undisclosed company.

TT: What do you actually do, besides harassing people in Target's toy department?

Hank: I'm a member of pretty much any and every toy and action figure forum under different names. Where my duties entail, absolute religious defense of Mattel and their practices in any and all conversations plus flooding the bi-monthly Q&As with fluff questions.

TT: And they pay you for this?

Hank: Not officially.

TT: What if they are obviously wrong, as I here they so often are?

Hank: They are NEVER wrong. The customer is always wrong, Mattel is always right!

TT: How did your "position" come about?

Hank: I'm a professional Corporate Apologist, I also work with several video game/software companies, as well as a major big box retailer also unofficially.

TT: I will tell you that I do not like Mattel and I will never buy their products.

Hank: Well, if is wasn't for that freaking old guy standing behind you I'd make sure you purchased a cart full of Mattel product. Is he on drugs?

TT: Yes, I'm sorry I'm a Hasbro and Marvel guy.

Hank: Yeah my friend Frank is too. Hasbro Apologist, unofficially of course. (motioning to Uncle Rudy) That dude is really creeping me out.

We left without purchasing anything (as is usually the case), although Uncle Rudy stole some beef jerky (as is also usually the case). We ran into Hank in the parking lot again but I ignored him, Uncle Rudy didn't. He pistol whipped him and took his wallet.

Target to stop selling toys!

Greetings fellow Earthlings,
While searching my local Target store for new Hasbro Marvel Universe action figures I overheard a conversation between a manager and two associates. It seems as part of Target's new business model, they will be forgoing toy sections in most of their stores for an expanded furniture area featuring larger items such as living room sets and mattresses. Toys will return in a limited quantity for the holidays in the boys and girls clothing section featuring much like Kohls now does. Even though I detest Target it will be sad to lose another action figure watering hole. So to speak.

Nanoo, nanoo, Travis Tredwell signing off.

TV Action Theater: Japanese Cheese Man

Visiting Target

I do not like Target, but I typically hit one or two on my toy runs. They never have anything good, but the day I skip Target will be the day they do have something good of course if I skip it I would never know about it, correct? The sheer weight of it is staggering. Just to illustrate my point on my last trip into a Target my sole purchase was a three dollar bag of Jack Links beef jerky, very meaty. My Uncle Rudy has more distaste for Target than I do, in his exact words and I quote it is a store for "hipster yuppie fagits". Yes, but of course my Uncle Rudy still laments the fall of Western Auto Stores, his de-facto retailer of choice. When I do go with Uncle Rudy (which is rare as I'm terrified he will steal something and get us both arrested) a game we enjoy is sitting in the car afterwards and creating fictional names and backstories for real customers we witness entering or exiting the store. It is rather enjoyable. When I visit with my friend, Jeffery we pretend we have grown large wings from our backs and are flying across the store over the customers heads. We spread our arms out as we run down the aisles and shout: "Falcons! We are falcons!" It is also rather enjoyable.

Na-noo, na-noo!